Weekday Playlist: Sexy Halloween

Weekday Playlist: Sexy Halloween

It began, as all things do, at 11 am in Kenyon’s subterranean slop haus — Marriott dining room. Our editorial staff had just finished assigning weekly posts, and the conversation slid into dangerous territory. “What are you going to be for halloween, Mia?” one of those scabby daily editors dared to ask me (it was Chris Raffa just FYI). Huh. The thought had never occurred to me before this, truly. I was too busy thinking about the pebble lodged in the foot bed of my Converse, the hot n’ fresh C+ on my Chemistry exam, and the particularly nasty pimple on my ass (we all have our own issues. hop off.) to think about halloween dress up. I typed frantically into my search bar on the computer screen in front of me. The only result for “Halloween Costume, DIY, funny” was an avalanche of “Sexy” costumes: sexy nurse, sexy girl scout, sexy pizza rat.

Let’s be honest, I knew this would happen. You knew this would happen.

Every year we hear the same joke about the hilarity of commercialized, sexed up hot dogs and mechanics. Old. News. I’m looking for new frontiers. I think I stumbled upon one…maybe. What about Halloween music? It seems dichotomized by scary white-noise-sound-effects and tongue-in-cheek ditties about blobs and ghouls. But do some extra digging and you’ll stumble upon the sexy halloween that no one asked for, but that everyone deserves. I decided to showcase the steamiest halloween tunes for you. Enjoy!

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Kenyon Gets Sexy

co-written with Annie Blackman

Kenyon’s back in full swing, the weather is still beautiful, and something is in the air. We’re all young and stressed and hormonal. Whether or not you’ve fallen victim to the Fall of Heartbreaks, you never know if or when you might have the ol’ shang-a-lang coming your way. And what better way to show your school spirit and impress your partner than by trying out some new ideas you found on a blog linked from your Facebook news feed?

Here’s some Kenyon originals.

  • The Bushnell Double– Or for the more adventurous, the Bushnell Triple.
  • The B-Fuck– The BFEC is a lot like sex. It’s dirty, beautiful, easy to get lost in, and takes several hours to get through. Don’t make your roommate get out! Treat your partner to a hike they’ll never forget, and get a good workout going.
  • Leonard’s Back Door– Much nicer than you’d think.

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  • Market Dog– Come by after summer hours. It’s cheap, good for a break between study sessions, and surprisingly tasty.
  • Package Notification– “The bookstore might hold packages for three days, but you can hold mine as long as you like.” Nothing is more exciting and intimate than sending this spicy email out to your partner two to three days before you’d like to shang the lang.

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  • The CDO– Great for getting fucked in the future. Plus, unhelpful tips to please your partner.
  • Church Basement– I just had a friend who was really insistent on including this one. You really don’t have to do it but, he really wanted me to put it in this article. So. Um. You really don’t have to do it.

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10 o’clock list: Sexiest Sculptures on Campus

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All around us, the days are getting more beautiful, the prospective students are swarming, and the freshmen are planning this weekend’s “shocking” outfits. However, some things never change, even as the seasons do.  The art around Kenyon is omnipresent, and frankly, kinda sexy. This week, I’m ranking the sexiest public artworks on campus. Continue reading