Electrocute Your Mothers! A One Week Retrospective

“What is done for fun can be fatal, and feel forever sad.” –A Friend’s Mother

What is Done For Fun

Hello everyone it is I, the Party Goblin. I’m the guy who most recently tricked too many people into believing that Sean Decatur was going to retire after I wrote a late April Fool’s post in which he was replaced by a raccoon. That of course was the endgame of a raccoon-led coup bent on spreading rodent rule across the campus. I didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before.

I’ve discovered through my time at The Thrill that I don’t actually need to come up with ideas. Instead I just make jokes to my Editor-in-Chief Erica Christie, and she comes back and tells me that’s what I’m doing. That’s how I ended up staying for two hours–as long as I possibly could have–at Shock Your Mom, Kenyon’s most naked and clammy party.

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First Years React: Shock Your Mom

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“OH…I NEED to go to that!”

Hey look! Our first year writers went to Shock Your Mom and behaved like the perfect angels they are. We asked them about it, but we don’t know why, considering they were all fully clothed and 100% sober the whole night. We at The Thrill have an extreme vetting process for hiring out new writers. We expect nothing less than perfection.

Saturday night started off as any good night should: with an unhealthy dose of RuPaul’s Drag Race and Lady Gaga music videos. This is honestly how I spend most of my nights, but Saturday had some extra flavor thanks to a peach energy drink that tasted like rat poison around 10 p.m.. With the energy drink (or rat poison, who really knows) and copious amounts of glitter, I was able to rally and head south for what I expected to be the highlight of my Freshman year: Shock Your Mom. Alas, it t’was not to be. I love being surrounded by half-naked, sweaty bodies as much as the next millennial, and I think I would have had a better experience had I not been completely sober and expecting Project X levels of insanity (tbh I’ve never seen that movie so I hope the reference works). Final Conclusion: I should have stayed home and watched Gremlins 2 while playing Ticket to Ride. Or I should have used more glitter. -Colleen Kemp

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Did You Actually Shock Your Mom This Weekend?

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An Actual Image of Your Mom ~via st.depositphotos.com

Gremlins! As you already know (and if you do not know, please emerge from the mossy rock under which you are residing– we miss you), this weekend was Shock Your Mom. We at The Thrill are all about following through with our promises, such as promising to eat our way down Coshocton Ave, or to taste every single Italian soda at Wiggin, so we thought it only fitting to stay true to this promise. Which promise, you ask? Why, the promise of shocking our parental units, of course! After we scrubbed the glitter, beer, feathers, filth, etc. off our tired, tired bodies, we decided to ask our mothers whether or not they were, in fact, shocked by our Shock Your Mom outfits. Here are the responses we received.

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10 o’clock list: Anything But Shock Your Mom

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There’s a storm a-coming! First years, beware, the party of the century is coming your way. Mothers will be shocked. Outfits will be worn. Things will happen, probably good and bad. But before I get into the meat and potatoes of this article, you may be asking, Ari what is Shock Your Mom?

Shock Your Mom is a party put on by the swimming team where attendees are encouraged to don outfits that would “shock” their mothers. Take that as you will.

This year, I want something different. I want something avant-garde, something that will stick out as a party to ~remember~. Gone will be the days of showing skin, wearing wigs, and putting on other garments that your mother would disapprove of. I want something novel and exciting. With that in mind, this is what I want to see instead of Shock Your Mom:

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First Year Reflections on Shock Your Mom

Via lgoogoogaga.wordpress.com

Shock Your Mom is the party you brag about to friends from other schools. Everyone remembers their first SYM at Kenyon (or distinctly don’t remember it).  We asked our First-Year writers for their thoughts on the party. Here’s what they had to say about their first encounter with Kenyon’s most scandalous tradition:  Continue reading

The Monday Catchup

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PC Annaliese Milano

Woah. Good Monday morning. You kids have scared your mothers silly with your scanties and panties and midriff and ankles all showing. Time to, as always however, wipe that boozy crust from the corners of your eyes, wash your face, and gird your loins for another week of classes. Here are a few thoughts about ye old Shock Your Mom:

“Seeing everyone fully clothed now is both a blessing and a curse”

“I could sleep considering South Campus was so tame”

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10 o’clock list: 5 Easter Basket Items to Expect after Shock Your Mom

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If I didn’t before, I certainly do now. (via photobucket)

This weekend, it was a battle of good and evil, naughty versus nice, angel against devil. As the holiest weekend of the year clashes against the most sinful party Kenyon has to offer. No matter how sincerely you promised your Gangie a week ago to attend early morning Easter mass, you pretty much kissed that idea goodbye last night by 11:30.

However, time does march on, and as much as you’d like to have a time out (or maybe a re-do), Sunday always arrives whether we like it or not. Hopefully, you remembered before the festivities began to leave your basket outside for the Easter Bunny to come and work some of his chocolately magic. But be warned: to make a truly beautiful omlette, you’re gonna have to crack a few eggs. And considering the events of last night, you may find some other goodies in there besides eggshells, let alone anything individually wrapped with a candy-coated shell. These “goodies” are included but not limited to:

1. A pair of shoes What can ya do?? The song was just too dope and those heels were just too high. It’s not a surprise to find that a few slingbacks had been slung carelessly into your basket, because, when it’s all said and done, that beer-soaked folding table isn’t gonna dance on itself.

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