Oh, hi! It’s me again, sharing my barely-contained rage at the latest abuse of the allstu mailing group! Look, I understand that it’s tough when people do something that bothers you, especially during a pandemmy. Still, it’s no excuse to force the entire student body to listen to your half-baked and, frankly, poorly thought out email. So, here’s a few alternatives/reasons to keep your opinion out of my inbox:
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It’s approaching finals week and my patience is wearing thin. You do not want to see my unleash my wrath! I will go stupid. Good luck everyone!
Utmost respect to you and all that you do, Doc. (via me and only me)
Looking for a snack to snarf during your post-Extendo/pre-seminar snack break? Look no further than The Thrill’s next entrepreneurial endeavor! We’re proud to announce our collaboration with Jelly Belly’s Ivy League-trained Bean Scientists™ which, if all goes well, will produce the world’s first Kenyon-inspired branch of cavity-inducing, jaw-breaking, awe-inspiring sweet treats: Doctor Locke’s Every Flavor Beans. I can hear your stomach rumbling already. If your tastebuds are itching to give these babies a try, have no fear! While our Kenyon Kandies are in production, we’ve decided to treat you to a little sneak peak of our upcoming flavors. Grab a drool cloth, ’cause these tiny morsels are – according to our taste-testers (who, full disclosure, are just prospies we grabbed from an afternoon tour group) – delectable.
1. Hash Brown Triangle
Though these tiny morsels contain no real potato, they’re sure to delight kids and adults alike! Enjoy the buttery comfort of Peirce’s most famous creation without leaving your bed-turned-hangover nest on lazy Saturday mornings. Be careful, though – ingesting too many of these has been known to cause tongue numbness and starch addiction, as well as reverse homesickness in children 18-24.
Third floor Ascension water fountain
For those of you who haven’t had the chance learn the proper etiquette, I think we all need to practice our quiet water-fountain-drinking skills. Our professors’ ears are gentle! Continue reading
The Kenyon Thrill 