Guess who’s back, pitches! It’s me, the healthiest girl in the world, here to tell you why I am not sick and therefore better than you in every way. I know that you were looking for some compassion and maybe the notes for the class you missed, but all I have for you is a list of things that kept me from being where you are right now, with one foot in the grave and one foot on some middle path pebbles.
Confession: I’m a huge germ-phobe. I get irrationally angry at people who come to class with more than a cold. Combine that with the fact that February is a veritable hellscape of pathogens just waiting to infect unsuspecting students, and you’ll find me ready to Clorox wipe nearly every surface into oblivion.
That said, this influx of disease is avoidable (or at least reducible) if we would all learn to be reasonable about it. Here’s how: