Woe! Your parents have betrayed you once again: they call your favorite 100 gecs songs “noise” that needs to be “turned off,” they go to bed by 10:00pm, they can’t wait for the inevitable post-presidency Biden memoir to drop, or they liken buying you medium toothbrushes to buying you cigarettes (they’re too harsh on your gums). If you managed to ignore it before, you’ve finally come to realize that your parents are indeed normies. It hurts, but lucky for you, I am more than willing to share some proven strategies to accept your parents for who they really are.Continue reading
It’s October! The leaves are changing, you’re realizing that you shouldn’t have skipped that week of Modern Quest readings, and your once-perfect skin is beginning its annual shedding. With the cold weather comes dry skin and, boy, this year it’s looking rough. Your Glossier moisturizer has dried up and your $30 Organic Spirulina Gluten-Free Foaming Face Mask has grown spots of its own, so what can you do? This wouldn’t be a problem if you had access to a Lush or even the Target skin care aisle, but the closest thing in Gambier is the Burt’s Bees section in the Bookstore and, let’s be honest, your frequent VI trips have left you with a measly $3.44 on your K-Card. I guess you’ll just have to eat away your sorrows in… That’s it! Peirce! It’s time to game the system and make your meal plan work for you and your face.