Here is are some simple tips for this years Send-Off: Don’t drink the night before Send-Off (it might be too late for that). Pace yourself, it’s an easy one to forget, Send-Off is a marathon, not a sprint. Also drink water. Also wear sunscreen. Also take food from that cart that the CAs bring around if they still do that. Also watch out for elbows on the beer pong table, your fellow students cheat. Also eat protein. Also don’t be stupid. Also don’t get drunk and break something on campus and then have people be all “who would do that” and then you’ll be all “I know right.” Also have fun. Also remember that you have things to do next week. Also please remain standing for the national anthem of Margaritaville.
As of today, there are 20 days until Kenyon is officially on Winter Break. That’s right, folks, two weeks of classes and a week of finals. Yes, these next three weeks may indeed kick you repeatedly in the
balls shins, but there are a few bright stars on the horizon.
- That finals week glow — I don’t know about the rest of you, but personally I am at the peak of my attractiveness after pulling four all-nighters in a row. We’re talking like Gisele status people. Nothing screams “get at me” like stress ache and a soup-stained sweatshirt.
- All of your friends are in one place: the library — RAGER IN CLUB OLIN! Sadly, it does close at 2 a.m. But lucky for you party animals, Gund is open all night long.
- The weather — 40-degree weather and torrential rain: my personal favorite (I’m just hoping that it will get colder and we can get some snow).
- Constant Christmas music — Only the inspirational tale of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer and Mariah’s dulcet tones can get me through a 12-page final paper.
- The Lights on Middle Path — Oh wait, now they’re on year round, so not so special.