Try This One Easy Trick for Social Distancing: Being Fast As Fuck

Pictured: Sonic the Hedgehog, the only movie this year to outrun the coronavirus

Morning in Gambier comes with the crunch of shoes on gravel. Swarms of students from north and south campus converge upon the hundred-or-so square feet of class area. In a better time, we would have all walked side by side as friends, except for that one friend who has to walk behind.

Now we are all that friend, as social distancing mandates personal space. With the mass of people moving between classes, how can one possibly hope to properly follow CDC guidelines?

As my hero once told me, “Gotta go fast.”

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