I know, I know. We’re all burned out. We rarely can find the strength (or time) to dig our vitamin-D-deficient selves out of our mountains of homework, our eyelids glued shut, struggling against the sunlight. But hey, the night is darkest just before the dawn–and I promise you, the dawn is coming. Or well, break is coming. After that flight, seeing your family, sleeping in your own bed for the first night and wreaking havoc with friends from home, and maybe even during your inevitable food coma, I promise you: a little, itty-bitty tiny thing inside of you will miss Kenyon. Here are five things I know I’ll be missing:
Tag Archives: sriracha
Sriracha Shaming Vol. 2
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear. I understand that your life is hard. There are midterms to take and essays to write. You may have seen the object of your desires making out with someone else at the Illumination of Old Kenyon this weekend or seen a professor you once respected grinding with a trustee. I sympathize and remind you that the Peer Counselors’ hotline is on 24/7 for your benefit. That being said, there are proper ways to deal with your sadness, frustration and hurt. And then there are improper ways.
And the number one improper way? Taking the Srirarcha bottle from the condiment station. Your life may be tough, but so is mine, and everyone deserves the slow burn of Sriracha to momentarily take away the bitter pain of a misspent youth.
Recent culprits include… Continue reading
The Stars Have Spoken! Horoscopes for Kenyon Students

Horoscopes guaranteed to be as accurate as a Professor Trelawney prediction or your money back! (Via stellarpath.net)
The cosmos has spoken, and it had some (oddly specific) advice for Kenyon students as they descend into bleakest midterm season. Are horoscopes silly? Yes. Should you disregard them? At your own peril. Continue reading
Sriracha Shaming
You’ve just gotten a bowl of delicious, yet somewhat bland, pad thai. You walk into Thomas, trying to balance your dishes, and up to the condiment table. Yet, you are met with nothing but disappointment when you approach to find that some assholes have taken the Sriracha again. But never fear, the Thrill is here! Using our greatest investigative journalistic techniques, we’ve found those who hoard the bottles and will lay them here for public ridicule and hatred.
Made in Peirce: The Perfect Hangover Sandwich
Sunday brunch at Peirce is one of my favorite Kenyon experiences. That may sound twisted but it’s oddly satisfying to observe people in various “the morning after” states. Hangovers come in all shapes and sizes, and that phenomenon is never more clear then during Sunday brunch. Plus, the food is perfect. Greasy, fatty, full of all of those delicious carbs that are perfect for Sundays. Also, there are usually hash brown triangles. Few things make me smile more widely than a hash brown triangle. For this edition of Made in Peirce, we are tackling the perfect Sunday brunch hangover creation. Continue reading