I like coffee because it keeps helps me maintain the perfect level of existential panic and tastes good with vanilla soy milk. Sometimes I drink tea, or, as I like to call it, stewed leaves, because even though tea does not taste as good as coffee, not everyone always wants to hang out with a scary naturally-occurring-amphetamine freak (though apparently some types of stewed leaves have more caffeine in them than coffee, but drinking tea helps my soul feel watery so I don’t believe the experts). Through my socially forced beverage experimentation I have learned that certain packets of stewed leaves taste better than other packets of stewed leaves. Here is an ascending order objective ranking of some of what Peirce has to offer.
6. Decaffeinated Black Tea- What is the point of this? It tastes like bitter water and also does not make you feel happy or smart.