My Ideas For Kenyon Merch But They Are Bad

Greetings my fellow purple-clad Gambier residents and Kenyon enthusiasts! With the holiday season fast approaching, there is no doubt that you are wracking your brain wondering what gifts to give. Struggle no more, because I have singlehandedly designed some unique Kenyon merch that will satisfy even your pickiest family members. I’ve pitched these ideas to the bookstore, but it is my understanding that they aren’t ready for a line of products so niche and experimental. Too bad for them. Consequently, I’m advertising them exclusively on The Kenyon Thrill. I accept payments through cash, Venmo, compliments, hugs, or basically any sort of general validation. Here are my ideas. After you see them, I’m sure you’ll have no choice but to tell me I’m good.

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In the Sticks: Student Laptop Decor

Who doesn’t love technology? If you’re reading this, you probably do (unless you’re a glutton for punishment, growing angrier and angrier with every article you click on, slowly descending into a dark, black pit of fiery rage.) Kenyon students love their laptops, and you’d be surprised at how different all those travelling metal devices can look. Here are just a few examples of some tricked out laptops on campus.

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How To Be a Person: Removing Laptop Stickers

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I too heart asphalt

Gone are the innocent days of freshman year, when you happily plastered your Macbook with stickers for all your favorite liberal causes. But now the Obama sticker is peeling, as is the KC Outdoors Club and WKCO stickers you picked up at your first activities fair, despite never once going to a meeting. What’s more, your mother won’t leave you alone about applying for jobs, and so dawns the realization that you will soon be an adult, who can’t be seen with a colorful, opinionated laptop.  So you try to peel your stickers off, but all you get is half peeled-off stickers. Read on to learn how to remove those stickers effectively. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Typical Laptop Stickers

Because Kenyon is a walking campus, students show off bumper stickers on their laptops. Because I am a “creative type,” I spend a lot of class time staring at those bumper stickers on their laptops. Below is a list of the laptop stickers I notice most often.

1. The translucent Kenyon stickers that got sent out with our admissions packet. Everyone without a vehicle puts these on their MacBooks.

2. HRC yellow and blue equals sign stickers. Often sighted, as they are ubiquitous Pride giveaways and always available for free online. Sported by middle-aged homosexuals and their allies.

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