The Monday Catchup


The library is already buzzing with anthropomorphic ketchup activity!

Welcome to winter. To ignore my craggy, chapped lips and the bitter cold that kisses them when walking from class to class, I imagine I’m running a marathon in a sweat suit and think about how I would give anything to feel cool—a tactic that can make me feel better for up to a second. Now I try to imagine a situation in which I would feel happy and excited to be back in class after winter break. The only situation that comes to mind is: having a personal masseuse  in each of my classes everyday. This is a pipe dream. However, if you happen to

A) be in one of my classes and

B) consider yourself a masseuse of sorts,

do not hesitate to contact me. I enjoy the tender touch. Well, actually I have a lot of knots in my back because thats where I store all my stress I guess so if you don’t mind airing on the side of muscle ripping with your touch then we are 100% good. Anyway, here’s what you said about break.

“I took a nice soak.”


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The Monday Catch Up

As a Patriots fan, I am sick of talking about the Superbowl.  (via

As a Patriots fan, I am sick of talking about the Superbowl. (via

Good morning! Here’s what you missed while you were raging in Club Olin this weekend:

The Lead Story: The Superbowl was punctuated by a blackout, also the Ravens won (Ed. note: not psyched about that).  Confirming our suspicions that as goes Kenyon, so goes the Nation.

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The Monday Catch Up

Good morning! Here are some stories to mention to your parents on the phone, so they don’t think you’re living in an alternate universe.

The Lead Story: The Taliban launched an attack on American and European embassies on Saturday in Kabul, Afghanistan, leaving at least 35 dead. The Taliban is calling the attack part of a “spring offensive.”

(via Wikimedia Commons)

Everything Else:

While it’s no secret that big donors often get special perks, apparently they’ve been bringing lobbyists on their trips to the White House.

The Titanic sank 100 years ago yesterday.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married. Finally, we can all rest easy.

In Video:

In news that broke my heart, a brave black labrador stood by her companion, who had been fatally hit by a car, in the middle of traffic in La Puente, Calif. (Warning: graphic)

A group of New Yorkers made a spoof of “N***as in Paris about books. It’s fantastic.

Finally, the best SNL sketch in a long time.

The Long Read: A profile of Kanye West in The Atlantic Monthly, titled “American Mozart.” Y’all can judge the accuracy of that title for yourselves.

The Weather: Highs in the 60s and 70s this week with partly cloudy skies throughout. It’ll probably rain today and on Friday, though.

The Monday Catch Up

Two North Korean soldiers watch you check your Facebook. (via Wikimedia Commons)

Good morning! Here’s what you missed while you were raging in Club Olin this weekend:

The Lead Story: Professional saber-rattler North Korea is launching a rocket this week. The North Koreans have said the rocket will put a satellite into orbit. South Korea (read: everyone else) is worried that the rocket is a long range missile, capable of carrying a nuclear payload.

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