The rumors are true. I have the blood of 20+ beetles on my hands. Not literally, that would be disgusting. I spent the weekend in my childhood bedroom, which has an Achilles Heel in the form of some secret bug-entrance in an undeterminable location. The 2007 ladybug invasion left me with a severe aversion to the smell of ladybugs (apparently they secrete smelly liquid from their joints as a fear tactic). I’ve had my fill of manic moths and speedy spiders. Heck, this isn’t even the first year those nasty stink bug beetle things have made an appearance in my place of residence. But this time was different.Continue reading
Shh. Do you smell that? It’s the aroma of pumpkin spice and the dying earth, carried to your nostrils, just for you, by a gentle autumn breeze. IT’S FALL BABY. Wanna know how I know it’s fall? I went APPLE PICKING THIS WEEKEND. Booyah.Continue reading
Salutations plebes. I’ve started to question the level of reality of this thing we call “Kenyon” “College.” As the days go by, my time on the hill feels more and more like a lengthy lucid dream. Sure, I have hours and hours of vivid memories stored in my little pea-brain of all the quintessential Kenyon moments, like passing a raccoon on Middle Path, and feeling that fleeting sense of spiritual connection between man and beast, or sitting at a New Side rectangle table for so long that your ears begin to ring and your vision starts to blur. But are those moments of bliss from my “College” “Experience” fact? Or are they fictions my neurons slap-dashed together on a particularly turbulent night of dreams? Am I really here, writing this catchup? Or am I tucked away in deep sleep, having an especially surreal dream that has quickly turned nightmare? Terrors of the brain aside, here’s the weekend:Continue reading
One week of classes down and our school hasn’t made national headlines yet! Huzzah. Personally, I’ve had a very fulfilling, very normal, very adequate first week of my senior year. What better way to commence the final stage of my 16 years of education than in bed without real pants on? I love academia.Continue reading
I don’t know if The Monday Catchup has ever had a theme in the past. Probably not because, like, why would it?
But Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I think this year I should be more celebratory than usual. And no, not because my annual men-are-garbage tweet has become low hanging fruit. I think I should lean into the fact that writing for a comedy blog is the most romantic thing I could do at Kenyon. And being in love can be fun, so why not embrace it! Continue reading