The Monday Catchup


The bottle is back.

April 10th 2017

Boil Alert: Day 5

The day began with gray weather and mild winds from the south east. All but one crew member has the scurvy – hemorrhaging, feverish, and omitting the most vile odors. I fear that my days are numbered. How long must I suffer ingesting this boiled water? How long must my mouth commune with the lifeless lip of a plastic bottle? Even La Croix, in all her purity, has begun to make me sad. Gambier, I love you but you’re bringing me down. Oh! I long to drink crystal waters directly from the faucet. What naive sin! What halcyon pleasure! My tongue greedily licks tears as they fall from my face, desperate to drink of that stream which flows from within. I am all salt, all dry, all crust crumbling to dust. I also found a dollar in my pocket, today. That was nice. What boil alert blessings do you have for me?

“I drank that water anyway. HA! The. Joke. Is. On. Them.”

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