10 o’clock list: 5 Things That Make the Struggle Real

scar gif

Amiritetho?

Blah blah midterms suck, blah blah the Kenyon Krud blah blah you have no dignity left blah. Right about now, shit is getting real. Like the realest of reals. Everybody knows it, and nobody has the time to sympathize. Maybe you got a temporary reprieve from the struggle this weekend while you instagrandma-ed it up with your family all over campus. Maybe you didn’t. If I had, I’d probably be writing about how your family looks like a weird version of you, or about how your brother is a whole lot more attractive than you are. But I’m trying to be less bitter, and your brother still doesn’t go here. So instead, I’m writing about what makes this part of the semester a bona-fide struggle:

1. Life would be easier if we were fuzzy wuzzy. Trust me, not in an emotional way. Stop trying to hug me. I mean in a dogs and horses and groundhogs and other things have fur coats and I’m jealous kind of way.  Consulting the Weather Channel is like reading a damn horoscope. How am I supposed to choose clothing? Highs in the upper 50s and lows in the upper 30s. Hey Weather Channel, stop trying to predict my midterm grade. Abundant sunshine. Oh ok, I see, NOW YOU’RE MOCKING ME.  Continue reading

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10 o’clock list: Signs Your Life is Falling Apart

sarah mcclachlin

“I’m about to ruin your day.”

If Thanksgiving break is entirely too far away, the weather is entirely  too cold, and you have entirely too much homework–we feel you. It’s the end of the semester. Your life was bound to deteriorate at some point. Here are some sure signs that you’re on the brink:

1. The most exciting part of this week was today’s date. 11/12/13. Well jumping Jesus on a pogo stick.  That’s a numeric progression. If you also made some sort of semi-orgasmic goat noise in the middle of class when you realized this, you should probably go get some more caffeine. Because this has happened every year. For ten years. Yeeeeeee-haw.

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