The truth is, Kenyon Time is fake. Kenyon Time doesn’t follow the rules of nature. So when you leave campus, time stops. If you find yourself sitting in Peirce, wondering how break went by so fast and how you could possibly be sitting back at a New Side rectangle ALREADY, it’s because that week didn’t exist. Your Kenyon World with its Kenyon Time got put on pause, so it feels like you’re picking up exactly where you left off, because YOU ARE. The fresh haircuts on the boys in your 10:10 are blips in the space-time continuum. When you ask me, “How was your weekend?” I think of the last two weekends spliced together, with a perfect seam on a Saturday evening in John Glenn Columbus International Airport. I know this all to be true because I lived it. And, as a friend of a biology major, I can say confidently that science is on my side.
The hour was late and the night was cold. I thrust my digging utensil of choice, the spoon I took from Peirce (but will give back), into the moist earth. 6 feet under I thought to myself, I should be there before break of dawn. I dug until the misty morning air began to creep upon the NCA roof tops, my blistering hands on a mission. The oath of my office paired with the cry of the turkey vultures circling above me rang in my ears: Preserve. Protect. Defend. Bury this time capsule so that Fall 2019 at Kenyon College will live on in infamy.
There are conflicting stories as to how the game of Frisbee came to be, but what is known is that it has been a collegiate staple ever since students started tossing around pie tins at Yale between the World Wars. Ultimate Frisbee is now an official sport at many colleges, with Kenyon hosting both men’s and women’s teams which compete against other schools in formal tournaments. But Frisbee remains a staple sport in many causal situations, from college quads to company picnics.
As it happens, the Chamber Singers have a unique tradition designed to discourage misplacing things: the unfortunate must retrieve their lost object from beneath a small, frowning gorilla while their peers sing what is known as the “Walk of Shame” (this is not falsified information). However, even this did not prevent the Singers from losing quite a lot of sheet music, several water bottles, a pair of eyelash curlers, pretty nice headphones, an entire tuxedo and a pair of boxers while on tour this year. The boxers’ anonymous owner felt so much shame that they have still gone unclaimed.
Liberal arts students have critical thinking skills that bridge academic disciplines… and apparently a talent for losing what’s most important: Continue reading