10 o’clock list: Tinder Profiles of Kenyon Alumni

tinder alumni

Who knew? Rehnquist ’46 and Janney ’82? Age is but a number, friends. Ow ow!

Tinder isn’t a new topic on campus, nor is it on this blog. After many discussions of pick-up lines, weird encounters with classmates, and our general bemusement with the app, we couldn’t help but wonder what our very own alumni might have written back in the day. In fact, Tinder probably would have been quite helpful when Kenyon was heavy on the lords and light on the ladies. I mean, would I have accepted a pick-up line from Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme ’48? Of course. Just the thought of him gives me sweaty palme. Read on to discover the Tinder alter-egos of your favorite (and least favorite) alumni.

1. Rutherford B. Hayes, 1842. More like Rutherford B. Hayyy-ladiez-wassup? We can only imagine the profile of one of our least favorite alumni would go something like this: I’m the one on the right. Ohio born and raised. Civil War veteran. If you’re a Whig turned Republican, I’ll put a ring on it. I took the backdoor into the presidency, so I’d be down to go through yours too. Hmu on Snapchat: B.hayy69. Oh, and 5’9 cuz apparently that’s a thing. Two measurements btw.  Continue reading

How to Respond to Tinder Messages: A Few Methods

In our fast paced modern world, it seems like everything has gone to the cyber realm, even dating. There are a lot of hip apps out there to find you your special someone, but without a doubt Tinder is one of the heavy hitters. A hopeless romantic, I found myself drawn to its addictively easy to navigate interface, navigating between faces for hours on end. When it came to the messaging part, however, I found that I had a lot to learn. Here are a couple of methods I employed during my first foray into the world of Tinder, at the beginning of summer break.

Method #1: Be direct.

Direct approach in action

Direct approach in action

This match and I chose the same approach, and while I would rate this approach as positive, in that it was efficient and unambiguous, I would also say it was kind of a negative, as it did not result in a further romance. Overall neutral, I suppose. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Tinder Pick-up Lines–Kenyon Style

 

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Fact-checking with the highest journalistic standards.

You could say that, prior to writing this article, my knowledge of Tinder was pretty limited. On the scale of, “Is it an app for collecting firewood?” to, “Oh yeah I totally just met my freaky freak of the week on there”, I was somewhere in the middle. After a brief Google search and the realization that Ask Jeeves no longer exists, I sat down in my Taft, like Thoreau without the pond, to offer you this stunningly well-informed advice about Kenyon-themed Tinder pick-up lines. Godspeed.

1. ResLife = Thug Life. Go for the gold with a few classic housing-themed lines. Example A: “Yo girl, let’s just say my shaft is about as high as the vaulted ceiling of a third floor Taft.” Right. If you’re feeling a little less outrightly vulgar, you could break the ice with something like, “You must live on the Kenyon Farm because you make my cock a-doodle-doo.” Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Other Social Media Kenyon College Should Get

(via addisonrecorder.com)

ICYMI, Kenyon got a a Snapchat a few weeks ago, and if that’s not how they’re gonna send out acceptances from now on, then what has this all been about? With Kenyon expanding its social media presence, what millennial-inspired fad will they turn to next? Queue that do-do-doo-do-do-doo dreamy noise that sitcoms have…

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The Monday Catchup

(Image via NBC)

(Image via NBC)

Good morning! Here’s what you missed over the weekend:

The Lead Story: Well, it’s official. After holding a referendum vote over the weekend Crimea has decided to rejoin Russia after becoming part of Ukraine when the Soviet Union collapsed. President Obama called President Putin over the weekend to promise more “costs” (i.e. sanctions), but Russia shows few signs of backing down. With Russian troops stacked along the border of eastern Ukraine, many fear that a mainland invasion is next.

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