How to Tell Your Family About Your Weekend Without Revealing Your Heathen Ways

So, it’s that time again. You finally remember to call your family, they ask you how your weekend was, and you don’t have an answer. What are you supposed to say, that you partied so hard you don’t actually remember your weekend? Having some pre-prepared white lies to these questions can help you get out of situations like this. Luckily, they’re so simple, you can remember them no matter how hungover you are.

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The New Allstu Sucks… But You Can Change That

stupid allstu

First of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry to whoever came up with the new Allstu digest thing, whoever advocated for it, whoever implemented it. I’m sorry, but frankly, it sucks. It REALLY sucks. Don’t worry, though. For all of you who miss the old allstu, here’s how to make the best of it.

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10 o’clock list: Five Ways to Start the Semester Off Right

Well, it’s that time of the year again: in 12 hours, you will officially be, like, a college student again. Bummer!

Don’t worry too much, though, because The Thrill has put together five tips for how to make the most of this first week back.

Make an impression on your professors – Don’t fall for the old “it’s important to get to the first class on time” ruse. That just makes you part of a crowd. And don’t just come late – stumble in late. Like backpack-on-one-shoulder-swinging-around-and-hitting-your-classmates stumble. You get bonus points if you spill coffee on the professor while you are walking to the one front row seat left over. After all, there is no better way to guarantee a good grade than to set the bar low and at least clear it. And if clearing it just means not scalding anyone again, you are in good shape.

Get a good night’s sleep – It doesn’t matter if it’s in someone else’s bed. It doesn’t matter you are covered in hickeys in the morning. It doesn’t matter if you clearly haven’t showered when you roll into Peirce for breakfast. As long as you got seven hours of shut-eye, you are taking care of yourself.

Try new things – This year is all about spontaneity and taking risks – or at least that’s what your astrologer Zora tells you. So get involved with some new activities on campus. Fencing club? Sign me up! WHAM! cover band? Let’s do it! Cannibalistic secret society that’s under investigation by the FBI? TRYING NEW THINGS IS GREAT!

Immerse yourself in your coursework – Experiential learning is huge right now, because it creates connections between the material and the student’s lives. Here’s an example: If you’re reading  The Great Gatsby for Professor Judy Smith’s “Jazz Age” class, get wasted before you read it to better simulate both the circumstances under which Fitzgerald wrote and the parties that the characters are going to. Sure, you might take a hit on the reading quiz the next day, but isn’t that a small price to pay for true learning?

KAC it up — You’ve earned that sushi. And that smoothie. And playing on the train.

Survival Tips for the Rave

With Doomsdaze quickly approaching, we here at The Thrill have assembled a list of things that will make your Rave experience all that more enjoyable.

  1. When you’re getting ready for tonight, do not wear clothes you care about. There will be paint. Lots of paint.
  2. For girls or gentlemen with longer hair,  bring a hair tie.
  3. Hydrate yo’ self. You might feel immortal while you shake your booty on a platform, but you still need to drink water.
  4. Protect your ears: wear earplugs. There will be earplugs provided at The Horn.
  5. Do not roll in with a box of Franzia or any other type of alcohol. The Horn is a dry space. There will be security (meaning bouncers) and they will whip your ass if you try. So don’t try.