Board of Trustees Report Includes Confirmation of New Theater Space

black box

In a report released on May 4, 2016, Kenyon’s Office of Communications confirmed that the construction of a new student theater space will begin during the summer of 2016. This new space will replace Kenyon’s Black Box theater, which will be demolished during the same time frame. Both issues were discussed during April 29th’s Board of Trustees meeting. Continue reading

How to Spot a Trustee

Barry F. Schwartz ’70, chair of the Board of Trustees

It’s that time of year again; the leaves are changing colors, the days are getting colder, and the number of luxury cars on campus has tripled. Yup, it’s that magical time of year known as the Fall Meeting of the Board of Trustees. Back on campus to plan the future of the college and to generally celebrate their success and self-congratulate each other, the trustees will be around. Now, you might be wondering, how does one spot a trustees? What do they look like? Where they stay? Never fear, The Thrill has got you covered on what to look for. Continue reading

The Trustees are Coming!

Faces to know: Barry Schwartz, chair of the Board, and trustee Aileen Hefferren, last year’s commencement speaker.

Actually, it’s probably too late, because they’re already here. It’s not Parents’ Weekend part two — it’s the Board of Trustees’ fall meeting, and ’tis the season for dining hall closures! After the jump, some tips on how to identify trustees.

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This is a Big Week for Brown Nosers: A Play in Two Acts

This was too good not to run. (Abramo)

Once every fall, everyone who gives loads of money to the college descends upon campus, gets a name tag and wanders aimlessly around Gambier going to the occasional committee meeting and trying to connect with the average student (pro tip: on Wednesday night, try the Cove). That’s right, readers, it’s time for the annual fall meeting of the Kenyon College Board of Trustees! Here’s a quick primer  on how the average interaction with a trustee might go down:

Trustee Y: Hello, Student. My name is Trustee Y. How do you like Kenyon?

Student X: I love it here. I do so many things and have so many friends!

Trustee Y: That’s wonderful! What do you do here? Do you play football?

Student X: I’m not really athletic. But I do sing in an a cappella group.

Trustee Y: Is it the Kokosingers?

Student X: No, I’m actually in the Stairwells. We sing new indie classics with minimal accompaniment.

Trustee Y: But do you play football?

And as if that wasn’t exciting enough, everyone’s favorite Boston-based architect, Graham de Conde Gund, will be in the village for the opening of his eponymous gallery. His return to campus will probably include a lot of interactions like this:

Student Z: Oh my God! Are you Graham Gund?

Graham de Conde Gund, Architect Extraordinaire: Well, yes. Is there something I can help you with?

Student Z: Yes, actually. I’ve been wondering: What the fuck is up with that water fountain by the bathroom doors in Lower Dempsey?

Gund: Well, the line of the wall…

Student Z: Whatever. Also why are there no floor outlets in Thomas? Are you, like, morally opposed to electricity or something?

Gund: Well, I was hoping that students, could, for a moment, disconnect because…

Student Z: And the KAC is so far away! I mean, I feel like I would go more often if it was next to Ascension.

Gund: Well, you see, the building is very large…

Student Z: Cookie pie! [Exit towards desert station]

And scene.