Via tumblr.

Sexy-time in the snoozer is tough: walls are thin, roommates don’t leave, and the XL in twin XL has all the disappointment of a double-stuffed Oreo. Yeah, it sounds like it breaks the status quo. But really, it’s the same damn thing, and let me tell you–the thought of getting “stuffed” on a twin XL makes me want to write off sex for a pack of those calorie monsters and Netflix.

1. “Effing and Blinding.” The roommate’s out, the lights are off, and sexy-time has just begun. On your bed. Directly in front of the first-floor window. Oh! Oh! Oh! OH my god there are people outside CLOSE THE BLINDS! Whoever’s on top ducks, swivels around, and lets down the blinds along with all inhibitions. Don’t forget to thrust. If you’re into public sex, throw out a pageant wave to the passerby’s outside as you lower the blinds–you know–long, long, short short short, pearls. Hey, it might just be the blind leading the blind, but if you ask me the “reverse cowgirl” just kicked it up one XL gear.  Continue reading →