The Monday Catchup

Dear class of 2021,

Congratulations! You’re here! You did it! Each and everyone of you is very, very smart. Or  could afford a very, very smart SAT tutor. Despite the trials of applying — the listless agony of not writing the Kenyon supplement  — you probably came from a wealthy enough school district to make your application shine!  But, who really cares. You’re in the club now. Your K-card photo is still reflective of how you look in real life (just give it some time), and yeah, you DO know who pinegrove is. Great. Time to take advantage of the diverse academic and social landscape Kenyon has to offer. Weekend activities are probably the best manifestation of Kenyon’s commitment to diversity. You get to choose between drinking, smoking, partying, or all of the above. Don’t like it? Let others subtly ostracize you socially. To further bolster my point, let’s see how people enjoyed this past weekend

“My first drink of the night was strawberries and cream tequila. My last drink of the night was beer from a bag.”

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