10 o’clock list: Inappropriate Responses to Your Professors’ Emails

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re going abroad next semester! You have the sophomore slump! Your athlete’s foot traveled to your armpits! Whatever. So you’ve got problems and the whole kit and kaboodle. And then your professor emails you about a lecture you should attend or homework you should do or, maybe, just about how she knows that you’re picking your nose in class and wiping it on the table–slowly sculpting your gooey fluids into a shrine of the person in front of you. That’s 100% some nasty-ass creepy shit, man. Anyway. Before you reply, make sure your turkey brain isn’t talking and don’t respond in the following ways:

1. Allstu all the way. ‘Twas the night before class and all through the dorm, no one was stirring, except some dude watching porn. Continue reading