Weekend Playlist: Valentine’s Day Hangover

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Candy heart is 2 real

Readers, friends, lovers, do not worry. I, too, am VERY upset that Valentines Day 2017 has come to a close. Second only to Groundhog Day, Valentine’s Day serves as the source of most of my joy. Yes, I said it. Why?  Every year on February 14th, the apathetic layman is inundated with colors, scents, and feelings of love; heartfelt or not, one iota of this stuff is bound to diffuse into his consciousness. He feels the love. You feel the love. Suddenly he is texting, “I love how your hair puddles around your shoulders in inky rivulets” as opposed to, “U up? ;)” Now you’re looking at properties in the area, unsure about the 2-bedroom townhouse, because maybe you want space for two or three kids. You decide to get a dog together and try caring for something other than yourselves for once. Next thing you know you’ve purchased a trunk load of flat-pack furniture from IKEA, five Flärdfulls and two Riktig Öglas in total. What was I saying?

Anyway, V-day can be nauseating. Check out these tunes.

Cool Company- Call You Back

This jiggly hit will speak to those who really (seriously) only want to hook up. The lyrics speak for themselves.
“Don’t you think we would be perfect together?
No.”

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Weekend Drink: Valentine’s Heart of Wine

The only way to survive Valentine’s Day

Whether you have a significant other, that one hookup you always text to “hang or something,” or are single and spending the holiday with friends or alone, you’re going to need an especially strong drink this weekend. For you of-age readers, instead of getting cavities from the ridiculous sweetness of “love” and annoying lovey-dovey nicknames, take of sip of the true heart of Valentine’s Day. Like love, it’ll be sweet at first but over time may just leave you bitter.

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Valentines As Mediocre As You Are

Valentines As Mediocre As You Are
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don’t look at me just send me a text or whatever

Look, whether you’re into it or not, Valentine’s Day is coming up fast. Some people think it’s fun, some people think it’s dumb, either way it’s on Sunday and there’s nothing you can do about that. If you’re in the market for putting asymptotically close to zero amount of thought into your V-Day charades, allow me to help. You can peruse our past postings of incredible/fun/witty Valentines made by student artists, or you can check out (and print!) these garbage ones I made just for you. Whatever floats your trash. Continue reading

10 o’clock list: Yaks Sadder Than Your Life

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It’s been a rough weekend. I don’t think we ever really recovered from Friday the 13th, and let’s be real, unless you woke up in bed with the honey of your dreams, we all spent last night losing our minds and crying in the Farr bathroom about that kid you were introduced to in August and never realized we wanted to hook up with but suddenly this is just the right choice, you know? But have no fear, several people took to Yik Yak to reassure us that as much as our nights sucked, theirs sucked more.
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