How to Plan the Depressing Kenyon Wedding of Your Dreams

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what would their wedding hashtag be?

Our flashy, heteronormative, materialistic culture here in America has caused a lot of people to dream of their expensive, bombastic weddings, with ornate tiered cakes reaching the ceilings and fountains of shrimp and diamonds or whatever. But the American sitcom has also peddled another, equally ill-fated ideal, that of the impromptu wedding. Eloping, planning a big wedding and abandoning it to do some unofficial affair with your friends, getting drunk and forgetting you got married: these days it’s all about making your wedding as unexpected as possible and providing little to no notice that it’s happening at all. Which begs the question: if I want to get married right here and now, at Kenyon College, and only have access to the bookstore and the Market, what kind of shindig could I throw? What hootenanny would await my guests? What would I wear?

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The Monday Catchup

I bet you never thought you’d see Shep Smith in the Monday Catchup, did you?

Good morning! Here’s the news you may have missed:

The Lead Story: Be warned, this week’s lead story is an uncomfortable one. Fox News made headlines on Friday when it accidentally broadcast a suicide on live TV. Fox was airing an ostensibly benign car chase during Shepard Smith’s show, when the man being chased pulled his car over, got out and started running erratically. Smith saw the potential for hazard and urged the show’s producers to cut away from the chase, but not before the suspect pulled out a gun and shot himself. Smith issued a nearly two-minute apology after hastily cutting to a commercial break, but the incident has ignited a debate over whether or not car chases should be on live TV. The news website Buzzfeed has also come under fire for posting video of the suicide to YouTube. (A note: none of the links here include footage of the suicide.)

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