Kenyon Men’s Basketball has had a great season, and as it comes to a close I can’t help reflecting not only on the gameplay but the sweet music that fills Tomsich during any time out. Now, I’m not sure who’s on AUX at these things, but they are a bit of a deejaying prodigy. They have an unmatched gift of throwing on a playlist of songs that you wouldn’t believe make sense for a basketball game, and yet, there they are. There is no way I could be as masterful as whoever chooses these songs, but I’ll try my best to recreate this excellence in a Weekend Playlist.Continue reading
Here’s a playlist of songs that have never, ever been played on a WKCO radio show by a girl wearing a Carhartt jacket. If Glossier Boy Brow was a song, it would be Your Dog by Soccer Mommy. All are these artists are very cool and alt, but also way too famous to play at the Horn on a Thursday. Blast this playlist out the window of your New Apt so all of your neighbors know that you’re a connoisseur of music by skinny twenty-somethings who dress like Kenyon students. Enjoy your weekend!
There are three types of people on November first.
1) Those who are suffocated by 6 yards of twinkle lights, getting off to fruit cake and mistletoe. (If you are personally offended by this image the solution is simple: Chill. You scare me.)
2) Those who wait for Thanksgiving, relishing in the comfort of normalized colonialism BEFORE the capitalistic surge. (Someone figure out how much Tryptophan will make me sleep through all the holidays.)
3) Those who don’t care about either holiday and want and excuse to get drunk and swap spit. Happy New Year, bleep bloorp vomitalloveryourdress. (If New Years Eve is your favorite holiday, you are clearly grappling with some personal issues. Yikes.)
Here’s music for all you sickos.
It began, as all things do, at 11 am in Kenyon’s subterranean slop haus — Marriott dining room. Our editorial staff had just finished assigning weekly posts, and the conversation slid into dangerous territory. “What are you going to be for halloween, Mia?” one of those scabby daily editors dared to ask me (it was Chris Raffa just FYI). Huh. The thought had never occurred to me before this, truly. I was too busy thinking about the pebble lodged in the foot bed of my Converse, the hot n’ fresh C+ on my Chemistry exam, and the particularly nasty pimple on my ass (we all have our own issues. hop off.) to think about halloween dress up. I typed frantically into my search bar on the computer screen in front of me. The only result for “Halloween Costume, DIY, funny” was an avalanche of “Sexy” costumes: sexy nurse, sexy girl scout, sexy pizza rat.
Let’s be honest, I knew this would happen. You knew this would happen.
Every year we hear the same joke about the hilarity of commercialized, sexed up hot dogs and mechanics. Old. News. I’m looking for new frontiers. I think I stumbled upon one…maybe. What about Halloween music? It seems dichotomized by scary white-noise-sound-effects and tongue-in-cheek ditties about blobs and ghouls. But do some extra digging and you’ll stumble upon the sexy halloween that no one asked for, but that everyone deserves. I decided to showcase the steamiest halloween tunes for you. Enjoy!
In the wake of Kenyon’s momentous 75 million dollar donation, another hunk of cheddar slid quietly into the hands of Denison’s administration on Friday afternoon. Not to be outdone by a rival institution, Denison officials announced that they too received a 75 million dollar donation; theirs was simply in the form of Chuck-E-Cheese coins as opposed to legal tender. The donor, who wishes to remain anonymous, requested that the funds be used to uphold the sacrosanctity of both the university and the arcade-pizzaria franchise (NOW OFFERING THIN CRUST AND GLUTEN-FREE OPTIONS!).
“This donation will allow us to make Denison a place, to borrow a phrase from Chuck, ‘where a kid can be a kid’,” said Denison President Adam Weinberg in a formal announcement on twitter.
The coin will be used to install standalone slots machines in Curtis Café, The Nest, and The Slop Pit across from one of those brick buildings on campus Idon’treallyknow.
In order to celebrate the success of Ohio’s liberal arts institutions, I’ve crafted a jovial playlist for the weekend. Listen while you drink with your pals, Ladies, chums, Lords, and Buzzards (Denison picked that mascot, not me.) Here’s to your success, Denison!