10 o’clock List: How to Entertain Your Parents This Weekend

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The author with her parents

It’s that time of year again, when campus is full of people who are not students but probably wish they still were. They dress nicer than you. They are kind of old. They wear trendy glasses (tortoise shell or clear) and use trays in Peirce. There is not enough parking for their Subarus and Audi station wagons. They are your parents, and they are coming. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do with your parents for a whole weekend, (how did they entertain you for your 20 something years?), but here are some ideas.

  1. Go to Walmart and make them buy you mini doughnuts, condoms, and Capri-Sun pacific coolers.
  2. Show them the stain on your comforter where you spilled blood and red wine while trying to use your roommate’s sword to open a bottle of Barefoot via information provided in this NPR article because now you go to a liberal arts school and read NPR.

  3. Hit the VI and bring your friends so they can assess the stability of the new support system you have transitioned to while enjoying tater tots and macaroni and cheese.

  4. Point out the desk in the library where you cried over that econ midterm, which will soon be destroyed, because, if you didn’t know, the 2020 plan is ruining lives!

  5. Take them to the upside down tree and leave them there. They will be lost. Come back for them later if you so please.

Meet an SMA: Wilfred Ahrens ’15

We’re picking back up on the feature wherein we spotlight an SMA each Friday to raise awareness about the resources available to victims of sexual assault. Remember, the SMAs are subordinate to the Counseling Center, so anything you tell them is kept confidential. They also have an anonymous hotline you can call if you need assistance: 740-358-1544. Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

Today, we’re featuring Will Ahrens, a junior from Virginia. 

will

Cookie pie or giant cookie? 
Neither.

The Weekend Recap: A GIF Extravaganza

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The first post-break weekend is about to come to a close, ending syllabus week and throwing spring semester into full swing. Whether or not your post-weekend self is ready for action or not is likely a different story. If the past few days have been a bit of a haze, don’t worry, we’re here to fill in the blanks.

When the acceptable hour for drinking rolls around. Bitch can’t stop me now…

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