Stock Answers For Questions Your Parents Ask You Every Week

“No, mom, I’m totally getting to bed by ten each night.”

Being the parent of a college student must be stressful. For the first time since their birth, baby is out of reach, on a campus full of drunken heathens and at risk for communicating with radical academics who salivate at the chance to indoctrinate them into an anarcho-communist lifestyle. To make up for the lack of physical contact, parents try to call their college students at least once a week to check up, just to make sure baby is still alive.

The questions they ask never change. I’ve become convinced there is actually a script parents use for talking to their college aged kids. To help even the playing field, here are some stock answers to the questions parents love to ask. Continue reading

Meet an SMA: Kelly Boland ’14

We’re picking back up on the feature wherein we spotlight an SMA each Friday to raise awareness about the resources available to victims of sexual assault. Remember, the SMAs are subordinate to the Counseling Center, so anything you tell them is kept confidential. They also have an anonymous hotline you can call if you need assistance: 740-358-1544. Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

Today, we’re featuring Kelly Boland, a senior from Missouri.

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Meet an SMA: Kate Kadleck ’15

We’re picking back up on the feature wherein we spotlight an SMA each Friday to raise awareness about the resources available to victims of sexual assault. Remember, the SMAs are subordinate to the Counseling Center, so anything you tell them is kept confidential. They also have an anonymous hotline you can call if you need assistance: 740-358-1544. Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

Today, we’re featuring Kate Kadleck, a junior from Illinois.

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She didn’t send in a headshot.

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Meet an SMA: Jess Lieberman ’14

We’re picking back up on the feature wherein we spotlight an SMA each Friday to raise awareness about the resources available to victims of sexual assault. Remember, the SMAs are subordinate to the Counseling Center, so anything you tell them is kept confidential. They also have an anonymous hotline you can call if you need assistance: 740-358-1544. Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

Today, we’re featuring Jess Lieberman, a junior from Maryland.

She didn't send a headshot.

She didn’t send a headshot.

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Meet an SMA: Meg Armstrong ’14

We’re picking back up on the feature wherein we spotlight an SMA each Friday to raise awareness about the resources available to victims of sexual assault. Remember, the SMAs are subordinate to the Counseling Center, so anything you tell them is kept confidential. They also have an anonymous hotline you can call if you need assistance: 740-358-1544. Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

Today, we’re featuring Meg Armstrong, a junior from Virginia.

(via Meg Armstrong '14)

(via Meg Armstrong ’14)

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Meet an SMA: Rebecca Ogus ’14

We’re picking back up on the feature wherein we spotlight an SMA each Friday to raise awareness about the resources available to victims of sexual assault. Remember, the SMAs are subordinate to the Counseling Center, so anything you tell them is kept confidential. They also have an anonymous hotline you can call if you need assistance: 740-358-1544. Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

Today, we’re featuring Rebecca Ogus, a junior from North Carolina.

(courtesy of Rebecca Ogus '14)

(courtesy of Rebecca Ogus ’14)

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