Students in Uproar Because February is Not Terrible

 

“You don’t KNOW winter,” an upperclassman said, this past September, “just WAIT until February, you’re in for a shock.” Every year, upperclassmen begin their interactions with first year students by telling them that February is going to be the worst thing they’ll ever experience. Fancy buzz words like “polar vortex” and “la niña” are thrown around, and soon enough first years begin to feel the pressure of the six feet of snow that loom ahead.

But it never came.

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The Kenyon Winter Wonderland: Unseen Beauties

 

“Everything the light touches is my kingdom”

We have the privilege of going to a school known for its stunningly gorgeous campus. However during winter, we all seem to forget how beautiful this campus and complain about things like how cold it is outside. Well I say enough is enough! In order to prove to everyone how wonderful this campus is during February, the best month of the year, I went on a photojournalistic journey to capture unseen beauty on this campus, and you won’t believe the awe-striking things I found.

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Things to Look Forward to in the Winter

Sean Decatur desperately clutches on to his only source of warmth (via 123rf.com)

Yeah, I get it – it was 50 degrees over the weekend and there hasn’t been snow on the ground for over a week. Whatever, dude. It’s still winter. Need I remind you of the doom and gloom that is the entirety of February? Nestled in between the excitement of the new semester and the freedom that comes with spring break, these next four weeks will likely be nothing short of a cloudy, monotonous mess. Devoid of anything worth doing, it might be hard to find a reason to roll out of bed in the morning. Luckily, I’ve got you covered. Here are some things to look forward to.

  • The cold embrace of death. The month will draw on for what seems like forever. In reality, it’s just your third hour on third floor Olin. What does the sun look like? Will winter ever end? We have no way of knowing – the only thing we know, the only absolute truth, is that someday our lives will end.

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Extreme Cold Prompts Kenyon to Provide Shuttle System [UPDATED]

Yep. Via buzzfeed.

[Update 10:40 a.m.]: The college just announced that Peirce Hall, Gund Commons computer lab, and the Library will be closing at midnight on Thursday. The KAC will operate normally today, but will not reopen until 8 a.m. Friday morning.

For the second time in two years, extreme cold has prompted the college to offer a shuttle system to help students safely move about campus. While hordes of normal schools cancelled classes on Thursday, Kenyon has rolled out a philosophy of asceticism and has begun experimenting with the freezing point of human flesh. If your disgruntled and very chilly self does happen to make it beyond two steps of your dorm today or tomorrow, here’s the shuttle schedule:  Continue reading

10 o’clock list: 5 Kenyon Kocktails You Just GOTTA Try Today

"Listen, man! I'm not going to jail for you, or ENYBODY." (via netflix.com)

Listen, man! I’m not going to jail for you, or AINYBODY! (via netflix.com)

We’re more than halfway through the school year, and chances are that you’re getting pretty tired of your usual beverage selection, whether it be your standard Wiggins order, your usual post-KAC smoothie of choice, or that cup of half-beer-half-foam you and your three best friends had to throw elbows for while waiting in line for 15 minutes at a registered party. But never fear, friends; I have just the thing to shake yourself free from that thick, crusty mantle of fatigue and self-loathing that inevitably seems to cover our bodies every year, come mid-February.

Your prayers have been answered in liquid form, through the list of Kenyon Kocktails chronicled below. 50% recipe, 50% experiential-emotional scavenger hunt, and 100% time-sensitive, these drinks are all exclusive to and evocative of life on the Hill right now, so go ahead and enjoy these seasonal specialties while you can!

1. The Middle Path Mudslide. Even more fun/dangerous than adding caffeine and chocolate to hard liquor, this drink is exactly what it sounds like. Equal parts wet dirt, slush, and feelings of regret for placing fashion over function when choosing your winter boots, this drink can easily be taken to the next level with just a dash of split blood, paired with an overwhelming sense of schadenfreude as you watch someone go down HARD in front of Gund Gallery. And if you’re still looking for more, a garnish can easily be created by crushing up some shoe pebbles to put all around that rim-rim-rim-rim.

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10 o’clock list: Celebrity Tweets That Reflect Mid-Winter Sentiments

It’s late January, which means it’s only a matter of days until the dreaded month of February becomes a harsh reality. This might be my first winter in Gambier, but I’ve heard enough horror stories/cautionary tales from upperclass students to know that the snow I’ve seen and the ice I’ve slipped on is only just the beginning. And no matter how much of a winter-soul you may be, there is a point when the gray skies and bitterly cold wind gets to all of us and leaves behind roughly 1,600 heavy-hearted students. Here are some relevant tweets penned by some of our favorite famous faces to help keep us warm and distracted from the fact that January isn’t even over yet.

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