Weekend Drink: Punch in the Spleen

My baby boy. (via openculture.com)

My baby boy. (via openculture.com)

I’m gonna give it to you straight: My spleen is struggling to do its thing right now, and a Real Official Doctor Woman told me not to drink any alcohol whatsoever. Bummer, right?

To console myself, I’m going to give you the big ol’ punch in the spleen I crave. Tonight, as you sip your sweet, fruity mix of heaven and sin, think of your pal Grack. Remember me as I once was.

Ingredients: 

  • 1.5 parts dark rum
  • 1.5 parts white rum
  • 1 part orange curaçao
  • 2 parts orange juice
  • 2 parts pineapple juice
  • 1 part simple syrup
  • Lime juice (to taste)
  • A few dashes of grenadine (to taste)

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BREAKING: Domino’s Pizza Now Takes K-Card, Waistbands Everywhere Groan in Disapproval

Lookit dat sweet sweet cheesy pizz (via stereogum.com)

Lookit dat sweet sweet cheesy pizz (via stereogum.com)

As if the graveyard of empty pizza boxes I store underneath my XL twin bed frame needed any new corpses, Domino’s has finally decided to jump on the K-Card bandwagon. Beginning right the heck now, you can order hot, fresh, flavor-blasted Domino’s pizzas (cooked especially for you in the corporation’s Mount Vernon location) using that weird plastic rectangle you scan on your dorm’s card reader each and every night.

The steps to achieve Domino’s-Induced PizzaBliss™ were sent out via email earlier today. According to Mark Kohlman, the process goes a little something like this:

1. Enter your address
2. Select your desired food items
3. Go to Checkout
the next couple of steps are critical
4.  Enter your K-card # in the box labeled:  DELIVERY INSTRUCTIONS
5.  Select Payment Information:  PAY WITH CASH UPON DELIVERY (you won’t have to pay with cash upon delivery if you entered you K-card # as instructed in #4.
6. Select Place Order
7. Wait
8. Enjoy your food
Sound simple? It is! Happy eating, folks.

The Friday Ketchup

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Hey guys, the time is now Friday Ketchup time. Come on in to the Ketchup, but please be sure to take your shoes off first. We’re going to fill you up on all the stuff you missed while sleeping through your 12:00 class because you were binge-watching the original Batman TV show the night before. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable for the Friday Ketchup. Continue reading