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10 o’clock list: Things We Forgot to Sign-Up For

August 31, 2015

Brewing club? Via carleton.edu

So you went to the Activities Fair, signed up with a dozen clubs and, as a result, gave a lot of student leaders false hopes regarding the popularity of their organizations. Unacceptable. You should really reevaluate your morals. You may also notice by now that those same student leaders to whom you promised your left toe and first child are convinced that most of your peers failed to show at the fair. As such, they continue to send a barrage of emails with the subject line Miss us at the activities fair?!  or Forget to sign up?! Frankly, we’re pretty fucking salty about this. We didn’t miss you at the activities fair. In fact, we probably intentionally avoided you. However, here are a few things we forgot to sign-up for. And let me tell you, it’s not club swimming.

1. Obamacare. Far more practical than Rugby or some other tomfoolery. Many of us are about to be thrust out of Kenyon’s womb into the dystopian delivery room with the ugly florescent lights that is real life. I will most certainly be ‘born’ with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. A) Because, Kenyon, if you are so disillusioned to think that this will work, you are heavily intoxicated. B) Because, no one is going to pry me out of my NCA and put me into the job market sans healthcare without a little help from Mr. Jack Daniels.  Read more…

Where Was It Said: Orientation or in Bed?

August 31, 2015
Life_Life#1F67

this is what you get when you google “orientation”


Ah Orientation…long, belabored, and sticky–one of the most awkward weeks of our college careers. Let the record show that orientation is in no way…sexy. But still, we’ve noticed some shockingly coincidental euphemisms littered throughout conversations these past few weeks. That’s right….we’re bringing back one of our favorite games: where was it said– orientation or in bed? Read more…

Trial of Venezuelan Political Activist, Leopoldo Lopez ’93, Terminated Abruptly

August 31, 2015

Leopoldo Lopez ’93. Via republica.com

The trial of Venezuelan opposition leader, former mayor of capital city Caracas’s Chacao Municipality and Kenyon Class of 1993 alum Leopoldo López ended unexpectedly on August 25th. Read more…

Things You Missed on Campus Last Year

August 31, 2015

2009MiddlePath

It may surprise you to hear that last year things happened on campus.  So, in case you were abroad last year or living under a rock, we have compiled a list of moments from last year that you should be aware of.  Also, froshpeople should take note as well to be fully immersed into Kenyon kulture.  Read more…

The Monday Catchup

August 31, 2015

It’s Mooonnnndaaaaaay! Aren’t you thrilled? Sure you are. And if not, here’s a roundup of this week’s events to keep you going ’til Friday.

Deadlines: Last day to audit, sign up for individual study, or drop/add classes is FRIDAY!

Special Events:

Saturday:

BFEC 20th Anniversary Celebration: River Trail hikes offered from 1-4 pm, and from 6:30-9 pm there will be free music, performances from Kenyon students, free ice cream (!!), and animals from Ohio Nature Education (!!!). All events at the BFEC.

Read more…

10 o’clock List: Clickbait Paper Titles

August 30, 2015

A student struggles as his UCC consoles him. (via mimlearning.com)

Now that the flurry of excitement that is the first week back is over, it’s time to get real – pretty soon, you’ll have to start writing papers for your classes. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not, but you want to make sure to produce something that your professors will actually want to read. And what better way to get them hooked than to title your paper as a clickbait feature? Here are some ideas to get you started.

  1. Five Phenomena You’ll Be Surprised to Find Out Happen Because of Natural Forces Beyond Our Control. Wind? Clouds? Gravity? This title will keep your professor guessing as they rapidly scan for you thesis, searching for the phenomena they thought couldn’t be explained!
    Read more…