Places on Campus Where I’ve Cut Some Hair & Pierced Some Ears

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As college visit season comes to a peak, one of the most common questions asked by over-confident prospies is: “Why did you choose Kenyon?” It’s a hard question to answer, as the reasons why students choose Kenyon College are as varied as they are numerous. Some fall in love with our stunning campus, others long to join our diverse population, and I guess a few want a good education, or whatever. Me? I came for what Kenyon is known best for. We’ve been on lists! We’ve won awards! I enrolled to become the newest, and first, cosmetology major at Kenyon College and, boy, have I been cutting some hair.

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How to Plan the Depressing Kenyon Wedding of Your Dreams

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Our flashy, heteronormative, materialistic culture here in America has caused a lot of people to dream of their expensive, bombastic weddings, with ornate tiered cakes reaching the ceilings and fountains of shrimp and diamonds or whatever. But the American sitcom has also peddled another, equally ill-fated ideal, that of the impromptu wedding. Eloping, planning a big wedding and abandoning it to do some unofficial affair with your friends, getting drunk and forgetting you got married: these days it’s all about making your wedding as unexpected as possible and providing little to no notice that it’s happening at all. Which begs the question: if I want to get married right here and now, at Kenyon College, and only have access to the bookstore and the Market, what kind of shindig could I throw? What hootenanny would await my guests? What would I wear?

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A Guide to Fall Break: Do More than Psychedelic Drugs

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We recognize that The Thrill has given you suggestions on how to handle this glorious four day weekend before; however, now that it is 2018 and the 2020 plan has ripped our campus to shreds, those of us staying at Gund College for Fall Break need a little extra guidance in order to entertain ourselves.

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10 o’clock list: Activities That Could Potentially Be Second Base

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Some say it’s over-the-clothes heavy petting, others say it’s a little bit of hanky panky with the peepees and weenies, but the fact of the matter is that “second base” is an ambiguous intimate activity that no one is quite sure how to define. We all know first base is kissing, third base is sex, and fourth base ghosting, but here’s a few things second base might refer to:

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Queer 101: LGBTQ+ History Month

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Hello again, Kenyon. Long time no see. It’s Queer 101, back and better than ever! Buckle up and break out your notebooks because you’re about to hear some exciting news. This month, here at Kenyon and everywhere, is LGBTQ+ History Month! Wheee! We already know that October is gay because of Halloween, but it’s also our time to celebrate queer history with our community and allies. In case you’ve been missing all of ODEI’s posters, or are having trouble reading the tiny print, the queer slice of the Kenyon Thrill is here to provide you with the who, what, when and where of LGBTQ+ History Month at Kenyon.

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It Happened to Me: A Collection of One-Line Stories

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We all have fun stories about meeting celebrities, punching windows, and being stood up by our professors that have so many twists and turns that not even a full post can thoroughly cover. However, some stories only need a single sweet line to burst into the world. Here are some of the Thrill Editors’ best, and shortest, “It Happened to Me”s.

“Campo caution taped up all the doors in Horvitz during a blackout while I was still inside.”

“I threw up in old side and just left it there.”

“I drunkenly tried to have phone sex in the middle of a Taft party.”

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