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How to Regret a Decision

March 24, 2017

We’ve all eaten market chili at 11:59 on a Monday night crying in our beds rewatching the singing episode of Grey’s Anatomy, rethinking our decision to take five classes while still have a thriving social life. We’ve all slipped in the basement of Old K due to a sad puddle of Keystone, and wished we just stayed in bed eating market chili. We’ve all tried to make a wrap in Peirce because we’re above the bowl issue, but instead pissed off the entire panini press line because the tortilla broke and quinoa is spilling everywhere.

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Weekend Forecast: Salmon in Sight

March 24, 2017
salmon in sight

These pants are not for sal-mon.

It’s official! There are boys in the NCA quad with their shirts off! It’s hot hot hot today!  Read more…

Meet a PC: Isabella Bird-Muñoz ’18

March 23, 2017

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Every week, The Thrill features a member of a student-support organization to bring awareness about the various resources available to the student body on campus. This week, we’re featuring Isabella Bird-Muñoz, ’17.  Stay safe this weekend, and know that there is always someone you can talk to if you need help.

If you want to speak to a PC, they have Office Hours in the new Health and Counseling Center. Drop by and talk to a PC every Sunday-Thursday, 7-9 p.m. and on Fridays and Saturdays 5:30-7:30 p.m. Or call their 24/7 hotline at 740-398-3806.

1. Cats or Dogs?

Cats. I love dogs, but I grew up with cats so I’m biased. Every time I see a cat I just have this visceral reaction where I’m like, “I must love you.” Read more…

Finding Philander’s Hidden Messages: Anagrams that Reveal the Truth

March 23, 2017
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THE anagram of our generation.

The anagram. That sweet scramble, not of an egg, but of the letters in a word. It is this wild, linguistic wordplay that continues to blow the minds of those scholarly enough to dabble in its art form. Read more…

Ten o’clock list: Places On Campus Where I’ve Screamed At People For No Rational Reason

March 22, 2017

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Pictured above: Me

Hello again, it’s I, the Back from Break Goblin! Oh also, the thing with me is, I’m a goblin, and I cannot explain why. I just am. I’m the Thrill’s Resident Goblin. I’m sorry.

Look. I’m not gonna mince words here folks. We live in stressful times. The world is full of injustice, cruelty, and perversion. The polar caps are collapsing, the economy is melting, and nobody is as scared of the Archons as we should be. Civilization’s been going to hell for as long as I can remember, and on top of that, I have to give an oral presentation the same day my next paper’s due. I get stressed you guys. And sometimes when people come into my life with their weird habits or wrong opinions I yell at them. I go on rants where all my nonsense overflows out of me, until I’m not even sure what we’re talking about. Or sometimes I just yell, not at people, or anyone, just at the void for situations I’ve found myself in.

These are my five favorite places on campus where I’ve screamed at people.

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Kenyon Kritters: Adorable Baby Animals

March 22, 2017

Warning: The following is semi-educational and not intended for the faint of liver. Cuteness overload ahead.

Salutations, hairless hominids!

It’s officially springtime, and the Early Bird is here to sing the bountiful praises of mother nature in all her muddy glory.

Ah, spring. The promise of rain. Of lots of rain. Of sunshine. Intermittently. Of flowers blooming and brooks burbling and warm breezes blowing. And perhaps most famously and hackneyed of all of spring’s glad tidings: the promise of new life. New life in your fingers flying across the keyboard as you bang out that essay you had all of break to finish. New spring in your steps as you dash from Peirce to Ascension before the skies break out in a torrential downpour. And of course, everyone’s favorite: fuzzy adorable baby animals! So innocent, so pure, so awww-some. That’s right, while you were cocooning in your winter comforters dreading the day when you’d be forced to emerge into the blinding sunlight and return to 8 am classes, nature was getting busy spawning some precious new arrivals, and it’s high time you were introduced.

I give you… the adorable aquatic macro-invertebabies.

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A Formal Apology (We’re Super Serious About This We Promise)

March 21, 2017

So it’s come to my attention via this post that was posted at 4 p.m. today. Apparently freshmen are human beings who have feelings, and are very okay with publicly saying they were wronged. Who would have thought? Anyway, we’re sorry that we tied you up with rusty chains and made you sleep on a mattress in the middle of the Kokosing.

To be fair, I know you’re worried about getting Tetanus, if you’re up to date on your immunizations that shouldn’t be an issue. See folks, there’s an unlimited number of reasons to vaccinate your children.

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