Dear reader. I think so much. It gets uncomfortable in my head with all those thoughts taking up so much space. I put my thoughts in poems so my brain doesn’t get squished by the weight of childhood memories consisting of me holding a stick in various locations and reruns of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Poems are like little glass jars filled with pickled organs. And the organs are so pickled, they’re almost translucent. As Bryce Shivers and Lisa Eversman of Portlandia fame once said, “We can pickle that.” That’s just beautiful. I made a custom embroidered pillow on the internet which says “We can pickle that.” I didn’t buy it though. One day, the whole world will be pickled. You can just dump stuff in a poem and then forget all about it. And then get famous while people theorize about your sexuality.
Kenyon is home to a diverse population of cats, many of whom I consider to be good friends of mine. Moxie and I have been very close ever since I rescued her from a tree one snowy night last February. Talulah and I clicked instantly, because real recognizes real. Bam Bam has seen me cry more times than my own father. But however much I try, there are some cats I just haven’t gotten through to.
This brings me to those assholes in the alley behind the bookstore. Continue reading
Who remembers, on that fateful day, February 25, 2018, when the world was deprived of Boy Pump?
(this post was inspired by a comment made by Tyler Raso)
Ah, the delicious thrill of class participation. You raise your hand, tentatively at first, before fully solidifying your thought and thrusting your hand into the air. But how will you distinguish yourself from every other well-prepared student in the class? You can’t just comment on the author’s intentions or ask a question about figures mentioned in a study, no, you must do something that catches the attention of your professor and makes them think, “Wow, this kid knows their stuff,” and not, “Why is this school full of fucking normies…God, I wish I was teaching at Oberlin.”
“Will I be featured? Are you recording me? Oh hiiiii!!!”
“I feel like I was not drunk until I very much was”
“You guys need to do this interview, it made me realize a lot.”
Two girls stand before me, but I have only one Thrill feature in my hands.
That was the voice of Tyra Banks coming to me, as she often does, when I met with Anna Hampton and Delilah Draper earlier this week. Both first-years, and both blonde, these ladies are competing to be Kenyon’s Next Top Doppelgängers. Continue reading