Your favorite mythbusters are back! Anna Coppelman ’16 and Jack Quigley ’16 are here, and this time, we’ve actually prepared something!

As everyone knows, Kenyon went to Hell in a handbasket when they let women in (this is Anna speaking, by the way). In order to combat the hordes of horny men hankering after unwilling women, brilliant engineers came up with escape steps. Yeah, the painfully awkward steps outside Ascension are supposed to facilitate women’s ability to run away. Surprised? So were we. So we investigated (dun-dun-dun).

Alright kiddos, this time we’ve done our research! Well, sort of. The results are in (and it’s worth noting that we aren’t the only school who has this myth floating around). In a poll of at least three participants, 98% found that the stairs are impossible for all sexes.