Ever since arriving at Kenyon, D-Cat has gone to significant efforts to be visible on campus. Perhaps learning a lesson from ill-fated New Yorker the Nuge,* Decatur has been spotted at rugby games, homecoming events, common hour discussions, and more. Where will he show up next, and is it possible for him to take things too far?
- Your Next Rite-Aid Run — This would be just like encountering a professor while lugging a basket chock full of alcohol, except infinitely worse. Exception: if D-Cat is paying, he’s totally welcome to come along, and I’ll even let him choose his favorite flavor of vodka.
- An All-Campus Party — It’s admirable for an administrator to want to get a better feel for Kenyon by immersing himself in the party culture, but this doesn’t diminish the awkwardness when you spill beer on him or mistake him, in the darkness, for that cute guy in your seminar. Plus, the Board of Trustees will not be happy if he shows up at a meeting with Xs on his hands. Bonus points if he comes to Deb Ball or Shock Your Mom.
- Middle Path at 7 a.m. on a Saturday — Anyone making this trek at this time is not there for a good reason. If you want to meet average students, sir, please choose any other time.
- Peirce Breakfast — The omelet line is already too long, D-Cat! Go get one at the Deli instead; you went to all the trouble of getting that Ph.D so now you might as well treat yo’self.
- Southside Diner — Try not to get too caught up in the extensive pie menu, sir, and please do try the banana salad.
*To be fair, I did see Georgia and her husband at Walmart once. They were adorable, holding hands as they wandered through the snack food aisle.