via forum.hipinion.com

Sometimes, you know that staying in is the right choice because you can avoid conversations like these. Here are some choice moments from the last couple weeks:

Caring Friend: “If you had sex with a tampon in, I would take it out for you.”

Senior Girl: “She found a man in the parking lot and stole his crabs.”

Junior Guy to his CA: “Where is your fucking master key?

Animal Lover: “I would let a small mouse live in my hair.”

• Partially Attentive Dude: “Want to hear something disturbing about animals?”

Junior Girl: “I have the most authority because I’m wearing a coat.”

First-year #1: “I mean, you just can’t get drunk on Mike’s Hard.”

• First-year #2: “I mean, you can, but you shouldn’t.”

Narcissistic Senior: “When someone’s interested in you it’s a turn on because you’re interested in you too, so you inherently have something in common.”

Horny Sophomore: “I look for eroticism in everything, and I’m just not that amped when I see the naked women outside Gund.”

Patriot: “God, I love constitution day. It’s my favorite day.”

Bed Sweater: “I’m so excited! I’m gonna sweat the bed so hard tonight!”