Rejected Craft Center Classes

I AM NEVER GOING TO IMAGE SEARCH CREEPY TAXIDERMY EVER AGAIN. (via trendhunter.com)

I AM NEVER GOING TO IMAGE SEARCH CREEPY TAXIDERMY EVER AGAIN. (via trendhunter.com)

I love the Craft Center. The sewing class I took there last year is possibly the most practical bit of education I will ever receive at Kenyon College. But I wonder how they decide which classes to give, and which they don’t. Here are a few ideas that I don’t think would make the Craft Center cut.

  • Taxidermy. In order to keep the college from turning into the Bates Motel, the Craft Center would do well to stay clear of teaching students ways to keep their favorite dead feral cat forever.
  • Balloon animals. Honestly, I’d take this class, but I think that any class that would beg the comparison of Kenyon to a clown college isn’t a good comparison. Leave the balloon animals to Jeff Koons.
  • Money forging. Possibly the only conceivable Craft Center class more practical than sewing, but also probably the most illegal.
  • Flammable art. Kenyon has a very bad past with fire. Sure, the metaphor of transience in art and life is beautiful, but we shouldn’t tempt the fates. Stick with sand mandala.
  • Yogurt making. Just imagine: you come home from a long day to the stench of your roommates fermenting yogurt, lovingly crafted at the Craft Center. Yeah, that’s my nightmare, too.

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