It’s less than a week to Thanksgiving break, so let’s be real: no one feels like doing their reading. I know I love a healthy dose of Foucault or Chaucer as well as the next Kenyon student, but at this point in the semester all I can think about is how much pie I’ll be shoving into my face in eight days. But have no fear! The Thrill has got your back with handily illustrated summaries of oft-read books at Kenyon.
Today’s selection? Everyone’s favorite grouchy Dane (person not dog): Hamlet by William Shakespeare. This is an exhaustive summary which fully captures the full emotional scope of the play. Every nuance, every textual subtlety has been carefully noted below. For realz.
Hamlet’s ghost dad told him to kill his uncle Claudius who TOTALLY broke the bro code and married his mom Gertrude.
Hamlet stages a play to see if Claudius really did kill his father (he did!).
Gertrude and Hammy talk, but then by mistake Hammy stabs this dude Polonius who was being way lame and hiding behind a curtain like a weenie.
Polonius’ daughter Ophelia goes kinda bonkers and then she drowns herself, which is just downright upsetting for everyone.
Claudius sends Hamlet to England (but ACTUALLY is gonna have him killed because he is a v. mean uncle) but Hamlet returns (thanks to some dope pirates) and is going to duel Ophelia’s brother Laertes.
Wow but Laertes has a poisoned sword!! And he and Hamlet both get stabbed w/ it, WHaT a TwiST!
Gertrude drinks poison and Hammy makes Claudius drink it too so they both die also!
Then a Norwegian prince arrives and that’s the end! Yay!!