It’s officially Saturday. Finals are upon us. Let the complete pandemonium and stress sink in. It is also the last Saturday of my last fall semester at Kenyon (my eyes aren’t watering… it’s just allergies). What does this mean? Well, it means that I definitely want to study to do well on my finals, get great grades, get into grad school, get an amazing job, and succeed at life. But it also means that I want to rage. I like to rage. You like to rage. We all like to rage. Let me teach you how to rage and study.*
How do you rage and work? It’s quite simple. All you have to do is bring your books and your big brains to all party environments. For example: It’s Saturday night, you feel like taking some shots with your friends followed by mac and cheese wedge chasers at The Cove. But wait, you have your Orgo final on Tuesday. Here’s what you do: Bring your calculator to The Cove, take a shot or two and then start talking to the bartenders about the beauty of chemistry. Show them your knowledge of all those fancy molecules. Top off your study session with some quick calculations for all your friends. They will think it is an amazing party trick and you will get an A on your exam.
Another scenario: You love the VI on a Saturday night but you also have a Drugs and Behavior final due on Monday. The solution is simple: Gather your friends and head down to the VI. Every time you take a drink, inform everyone about the actual scientific process that is currently happening in your brain. Your friends will love to hear about how alcohol is slowly being distributed and metabolized by their bodies as they consume it. Drinking has never been so fun or so meta.
I hope that you all have extremely productive and raging weekends! Be safe out there.
*I do not advocate for any of these suggestions, having never actually attempted them myself.