Third floor Olin is a great place to hit the books. It’s warm, bright, and bone-chillingly silent. O’ the silence. While absolutely key to a focused study-sesh, the outer-space like absence of noise can be intimidating. So, naturally, one of the biggest and most universal fears at Kenyon is the possibility of accidentally blasting something on high volume from a digital device while sitting at the long tables on the third floor. Be it the youtube video you were watching last night, or that song you’ve been listening to on repeat, nothing is scarier than piercing the third floor silence, and being met with tens of heads whipping toward you in disgusted shock. But, we at The Thrill urge you to reclaim your embarrassment, and embrace all innaproopitate loudness. Here are some suggestions of blaring audio to have “accidentally” playing on your computer when you open it on third floor Olin, to make you look chill and unique.
- Scatting: You know what they say? Skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day, or, translated: everyone likes scatting! Vocal improvisation comprised of nonsense syllables and melodies is really cool, and it’s especially cool when it’s playing really loudly while everyone around you is studying. You’ll slam your computer screen shut after 6 seconds of Ella Fitzgerald’s performance, and feign embarrassment. But you’re not embarrassed, because now everyone knows how eclectic and sophisticated your taste in music is.
- Your parents’ wedding video: “Aw, that’s so sweet, that girl loves her parents and respects and admires the commitment they’ve made to one another.” That’s what everyone will be thinking after 10 noisy seconds of your parents saying their vows. Pretend to frantically try to figure out how to mute the video, as you indulge in how great of a daughter you look like. You might not be able to see it in the narrowed eyes of your peers, but they’re all really touched.
- Season 3 episode 2 of ABC Family’s Switched at Birth: SUCH a good episode! Put this baby on blast and let your friends flock to your computer screen. No need to turn it down once it starts “unintentionally” playing. Everyone around you deserves a study break, even if they have no say over when it takes place or what it consists of.
- The Sims 3 “Create a Sim” theme music: You know, the music that plays while you’re making a Sim.
- The “People Try Kit-Kat Sushi” Buzzfeed video: Woah! They make sushi out of Kit-Kats now? You’ve gotta check this one out. Open your computer and loudly play first line of the video. The first actor says, “Oh it’s seaweed, it kinda tastes like a candy bar you found in the ocean.” Then, shut your screen, again, feigning embarrassment, and leave the people around you intrigued. “What?!” they’ll think, “did that guy say ‘tastes?’” You’ll look so cool for liking interesting and nuanced content that it won’t even matter that you were incredibly disrespectful to everyone in your immediate vicinity.