Nate’s Cookbook: A Springtime Quiche!

Image result for chef stock photo

different chef this time, sad :-(

Hello everyone once again! It’s your oldest and greatest kitchen friend, Nate, here to deliver to you 1) a gentle kiss upon the forehead, mwah, love you and 2) a new recipe! Spring is in the air, friends, and so are EGGS. In the words of Grampa Thrill, Cat March, “It’s egg season–the eggs are ripe” and boy oh boy is that true.

So, in the spirit of Egg Season, we’re making an egg dish this lovely morning. Now, as you’ll probably all remember, my inaugural Nate’s Cookbook dealt with scrambled eggs, so we can’t go back there. Instead, today, we’re making Quiche! And there’s a great chance I’ll misspell it several times, so, that’s fun. Let’s take our best guess at how a Keesh is made!


  1. Harvest the Eggs: You’ve got to go out into the fields, lads. You know that Seamus Heaney poem, “Digging?” It’s gotta be like that. Snug as a gun or whatever, take a shovel out in the fields and start pulling up the eggs. They are ready for harvest, friends. Get out there, get digging.
  2. Wash the Eggs: There’s dirt on those puppies! Eggs come from the ground and so they have a little soil left on the shell. Give ’em a good scrub! Can’t have dirt in your quesh.
  3. Salsa!: Does salsa belong in quiche? I don’t know, but why not! It’s Passover, I think, soon? Moses would put salsa on his quiche, I believe, but to be fair I have not consulted the ancient texts on this yet. Watch this space for updates.
  4. There’s a… breading… I think?: Okay, let’s part the curtain a little bit. Usually this whole cookbook thing is kind of a goof, right? Like “ooh, haha, I don’t know how to make a taco” or whatever the fuck but, like, obviously I do know how to do that. But right now? Genuinely? No idea how to make a quiche. I don’t know what goes into them. I barely know what they look like. I think there’s some sort of breading around the sides and base?? So, do that.
  5. Ask someone for help: Okay this one is pretty confusing, actually. But I know someone who does know how to do it. Text my friend Brady, see what she has to say.
  6. Brady’s Advice!: Here’s what Brady had to say:So that’s good! Pie crust, nice, we’re making progress! (she got back to me instantly, no questions asked, and if that’s not friendship, folks, well I don’t know what is)
  7. Bake it for Ten Minutes: Guys this is like the first time I’ve given some real, actual steps on how to cook something. Who cares if I missed the first several (many) steps? I know pie crust, and I know ten minutes. I’m fucking Antoni Porowski right now (I’ve been watching a lot of Queer Eye videos recently, sorry, it’s bleeding over)
  8. Watch Queer Eye while it’s baking: This is a really good season, guys
  9. You have a Key-sh!: You did it!

Happy springtime, happy Egg days! Eggquinoix? Is that a good joke? I don’t know, hard to tell, got egg on the brain I suppose. Goodbye!

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