Good evening Kenyon heathens. Sydney and Brooke here, your favorite housemates and worst nightmares. Just kidding. I just thought that might be a good introduction since it’s Halloween. We are both huge fans of the holiday, which is very clear from the decor currently in our apartment. In case you don’t believe us, we’ve compiled this handy list. Take a look if you dare.

1. Skull Tapestry and Pillow: Though it may seem like our pillow and tapestry were thoughtfully coordinated with the help of a dutifully organized Pinterest board, their matching was actually a total accident. One came from Brooke’s storage, the other from mine, with absolutely no discussion at all. You can’t convince us that that’s not eerie. If nothing else, we STAY getting comments about how our living room either looks ready for a Día De Los Muertos celebration or like an artist of dark magic paid us a visit. – Syd.

2. Spooky lofthouse cookies: Though this might be polarizing, we are a pro-Lofthouse cookie household. Nothing beats deliciously tender sugar cookies with midnight purple icing and festive ghost sprinkles. In the background you may be able to see that we mysteriously have 2 microwaves, be careful not to use them at the same time so as to not get sucked into the microwave vortex! -Brooke

3. Crystals: I won’t disclose whether or not I am practicing wicca from my bedroom at this time, but especially in the spirit of October I might not be opposed to charging crystals in the moon or casting a quick spell love spell. If you see me tossing my rose quartz in my hand on Middle Path and mumbling to myself, don’t ask. Who am I kidding. This is Kenyon. You wouldn’t. -Syd

4. Pumpkins and Gourds: sprinkled throughout the apartment we have beautiful little pumpkins and gourds! One time I frantically showed them during my class on zoom because I was so excited about them and did not think of how phallic the gourd was shaped. -Brooke

5. Lights: Bought these at Walmart last fall, they’re pretty cool, might leave em up till I have to go back home. -Brooke

6. Garland: We named him Jeff Garlind. He is a special guy, watching over guests that cross the threshold into our apartment (especially if those guests are ghosts). Call it a revamped mistletoe. You don’t have to kiss under it, but you should definitely be open to holding a seance or something. – Syd

7. Registrar Building: Outside of the window in our living room resides the ominous presence of the Registrar building. There have been multiple occasions late at night of the Registrar’s lights flashing throughout the entire building and Campo having to inspect the building to turn them off. There is also a really weird pipe on top of the roof that is taller than the building and I’m really not sure what its function could be/if it has one. -Brooke

8. Evil Eye Wind Chimes: Given all of the spooky stuff in our household, it’s important to have balance. These handy guys keep out evil spirits and bad energy. They also are windchimes, so they can literally serve to tell us when the bad energy leaves our apartment. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out but do let the wind chimes chime!! Boy bye!! – Syd 

9. 2 Fridges: The same otherworldly force that has hexed us with two microwaves also bestowed two fridges. We can use these at the same time, but have yet to uncover what exactly would send us into the fridge vortex and live in a state of constant fear. – Syd